Almost 29 and I am still the same as I was last year

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Marknis
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23 Mar 2017, 10:21 pm

So far, this year hasn't been any better for me in regards to dating as it was last year. I asked a girl who had common interests with me if she wanted to get some coffee but she told me she was "too busy". All the girls on the college campus are just hyper focused on their cellphones and don't want to socialize with me. I will be 29 soon and I will still be single. If nothing gets better before I turn 30, I will have to exit this life.



sly279
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23 Mar 2017, 11:22 pm

I'm 29 and still the same as 18. Doesn't seem it'll ever change just keep getting worse :(



solo
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24 Mar 2017, 12:43 am

I'm 32 and it has been the same for me. I don't even try anymore, I focus on work and hobbies and that's what keeps me going. I plan on living as long as possible, but I do need to start eating better if I want to do that lol. Your not alone.



Marknis
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24 Mar 2017, 2:01 pm

solo wrote:
I'm 32 and it has been the same for me. I don't even try anymore, I focus on work and hobbies and that's what keeps me going. I plan on living as long as possible, but I do need to start eating better if I want to do that lol. Your not alone.


My job sucks and I suck at the hobbies I wish I was better at. It's hard to feel happy with yourself when nothing goes the way you want it to go and it feels like everyone else is breezing past you.



JaredGTALover
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24 Mar 2017, 3:06 pm

Marknis wrote:
solo wrote:
I'm 32 and it has been the same for me. I don't even try anymore, I focus on work and hobbies and that's what keeps me going. I plan on living as long as possible, but I do need to start eating better if I want to do that lol. Your not alone.


My job sucks and I suck at the hobbies I wish I was better at. It's hard to feel happy with yourself when nothing goes the way you want it to go and it feels like everyone else is breezing past you.


that's what i'm doing right now:eating better,but as an aspie when i'm feeling hungry-feely like WWE's Ryback Dragon Ball Z's Goku & skinny-feely,i let loose,meaning i eat up to the point where i feel full & not stop until then.



specialsauce
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24 Mar 2017, 4:12 pm

I'm 27, I don't have a girlfriend yet, but I'm happier than 26 year old me.

I am kind of obsessed with supplements; vitamins, mineral chelates and colloids, herbs, terpenes, polyphenols, zeolite, diatomaceous earth, pharmaceuticals, basically anything I can take that will or might improve my quaity of life.

My skin is smoother and my brain works happier. I need less sleep and I get less sick. I still get depressed but now I have windows of clear thought and happiness to address my depression from.

I didn't speak to my GP at all, the GP will recommend Vitamin D but will not give you the Vitamin K to go with it. What use is that. Anyway, I prefer to fumble my own way towards relief, and it's working for me.

I feel so good, now I actually do feel like something special for the ladies even though my painful awareness of all my flaws did not go away.

I do hate it when people say they are busy as a means of rejection, I want to tell them that they should make time, but of course that is silly. It's so vague, one is never told what they are busy with, it feels disrepectful doesn't it? Oh well. t's funny how we can care about some randomer so much.

What we both need to do is expand our social circles and ask more people out.

When we're not enjoying life this is somewhat difficult. The trouble with me is I am depressed but I'm not sick, I know that we have made a terrible mess of our environment and created mentally ill societies. It is normal to be concerned. But it's not normal to sit around and use that as an excuse not to ask people out. Although having said that, in my depressed phases, I am clearly sick and I have the same fatalistic view as you.

So that takes me back to nutrition and of course physical activity goes hand in hand with that too- that will help you break out of the fatalistic mindset. And I don't believe in rigidly prescribed exercise, I just lead an active life where my activity actually has a point to it in addition to building your health. That's the ideal I think.



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24 Mar 2017, 8:18 pm

Why would it be different this year though? Besides time passing, what else has happened for you to warrant the current year being different from the previous year?


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Marknis
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24 Mar 2017, 11:17 pm

TheSpectrum wrote:
Why would it be different this year though? Besides time passing, what else has happened for you to warrant the current year being different from the previous year?


I get told things like everything changes and different times will mean different things will happen. But in all of my college experiences, I just feel the same social isolation and alienation I went through from the previous attempts. I feel like everything is going so slow to the point I will never catch up.



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25 Mar 2017, 4:37 am

Marknis wrote:
So far, this year hasn't been any better for me in regards to dating as it was last year. I asked a girl who had common interests with me if she wanted to get some coffee but she told me she was "too busy". All the girls on the college campus are just hyper focused on their cellphones and don't want to socialize with me. I will be 29 soon and I will still be single. If nothing gets better before I turn 30, I will have to exit this life.


How old are most of these girls?



Marknis
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25 Mar 2017, 8:48 am

Chronos wrote:
Marknis wrote:
So far, this year hasn't been any better for me in regards to dating as it was last year. I asked a girl who had common interests with me if she wanted to get some coffee but she told me she was "too busy". All the girls on the college campus are just hyper focused on their cellphones and don't want to socialize with me. I will be 29 soon and I will still be single. If nothing gets better before I turn 30, I will have to exit this life.


How old are most of these girls?


I don't know for sure. I assume they are in their early to mid 20's. Some might say "Well, you are too old for them." but I remember even back in my school years there were huge age gaps when it came to dating. Some of the high school seniors were 18 but dating 13 year olds (I live in the Bible Belt and redneck culture is very hyper sexual) and on the dating sites I tried in my early 20's, I would see girls say they wanted an older man. Even on a fling site I tried out of desperation after the dating sites failed (Huge waste of money), I saw a girl my age post a video about her "passion for older men".

I used to hope that college girls would be more open minded and willing to socialize but many of them just refuse to look away from their cellphones or laptops and also have earphones plugged into their ears. One nerdy/geeky girl that I did manage to get her attention just gave me f**k off signals and told me out of nowhere she was dating some woman's son even though I didn't ask her for a date. Another nerdy/geeky girl also had a fat boyfriend and was giving her snacks. In this stupid redneck culture I live in, I was told I needed to be an iron pumping as*hole and have the "b***h" make all the food. Well, I went to a gym for many years and my body never responded to my efforts; my arms and legs are thin but my chest, stomach, and buttocks are flabby and I have a double chin. I didn't get to the "b***h" part but I never would do that anyway since it's sexist as well as stupid.



Marknis
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25 Mar 2017, 8:04 pm

Just how do relationships happen outside of cold approaching? Cold approaching doesn't work for me at all but it feels like everyone around me is doing it and it works for them.



Chronos
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25 Mar 2017, 8:21 pm

Marknis wrote:
Chronos wrote:
Marknis wrote:
So far, this year hasn't been any better for me in regards to dating as it was last year. I asked a girl who had common interests with me if she wanted to get some coffee but she told me she was "too busy". All the girls on the college campus are just hyper focused on their cellphones and don't want to socialize with me. I will be 29 soon and I will still be single. If nothing gets better before I turn 30, I will have to exit this life.


How old are most of these girls?


I don't know for sure. I assume they are in their early to mid 20's. Some might say "Well, you are too old for them." but I remember even back in my school years there were huge age gaps when it came to dating. Some of the high school seniors were 18 but dating 13 year olds (I live in the Bible Belt and redneck culture is very hyper sexual) and on the dating sites I tried in my early 20's, I would see girls say they wanted an older man. Even on a fling site I tried out of desperation after the dating sites failed (Huge waste of money), I saw a girl my age post a video about her "passion for older men".

I used to hope that college girls would be more open minded and willing to socialize but many of them just refuse to look away from their cellphones or laptops and also have earphones plugged into their ears. One nerdy/geeky girl that I did manage to get her attention just gave me f**k off signals and told me out of nowhere she was dating some woman's son even though I didn't ask her for a date. Another nerdy/geeky girl also had a fat boyfriend and was giving her snacks. In this stupid redneck culture I live in, I was told I needed to be an iron pumping as*hole and have the "b***h" make all the food. Well, I went to a gym for many years and my body never responded to my efforts; my arms and legs are thin but my chest, stomach, and buttocks are flabby and I have a double chin. I didn't get to the "b***h" part but I never would do that anyway since it's sexist as well as stupid.


Maybe transfer to a university in a more progressive area.



archvillain
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25 Mar 2017, 9:34 pm

First, if you want to get in shape, get in shape. Excuses are excuses. Go to the gym every day and workout until you can't move. Then repeat. Try crossfit; it will wreck you. Follow a diet based on nutrition. Exercise is so easy it's hard. If you aren't dripping gallons of sweat, work harder.

Or, focus on your brain. Intelligence is an aphrodisiac to women. But you have to play it cool. 'Cause there's so many models that want you, you know? Why give this girl any special attention? You'll find women want two things: a smart man who respects them, protects them, and is present, and security. Women are practical. And harsh. Learn to blow off a swing and a miss. Focus on the hits. Some girl comes at you like that girl did? Young girls usually shoot you down to gauge your reaction. You're man enough to take their flak. Let it bounce off you. Smile. Nod. Move on.

Do not give up. You are not alone. I stand with you. We all do.



Marknis
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25 Mar 2017, 9:53 pm

Chronos wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Chronos wrote:
Marknis wrote:
So far, this year hasn't been any better for me in regards to dating as it was last year. I asked a girl who had common interests with me if she wanted to get some coffee but she told me she was "too busy". All the girls on the college campus are just hyper focused on their cellphones and don't want to socialize with me. I will be 29 soon and I will still be single. If nothing gets better before I turn 30, I will have to exit this life.


How old are most of these girls?


I don't know for sure. I assume they are in their early to mid 20's. Some might say "Well, you are too old for them." but I remember even back in my school years there were huge age gaps when it came to dating. Some of the high school seniors were 18 but dating 13 year olds (I live in the Bible Belt and redneck culture is very hyper sexual) and on the dating sites I tried in my early 20's, I would see girls say they wanted an older man. Even on a fling site I tried out of desperation after the dating sites failed (Huge waste of money), I saw a girl my age post a video about her "passion for older men".

I used to hope that college girls would be more open minded and willing to socialize but many of them just refuse to look away from their cellphones or laptops and also have earphones plugged into their ears. One nerdy/geeky girl that I did manage to get her attention just gave me f**k off signals and told me out of nowhere she was dating some woman's son even though I didn't ask her for a date. Another nerdy/geeky girl also had a fat boyfriend and was giving her snacks. In this stupid redneck culture I live in, I was told I needed to be an iron pumping as*hole and have the "b***h" make all the food. Well, I went to a gym for many years and my body never responded to my efforts; my arms and legs are thin but my chest, stomach, and buttocks are flabby and I have a double chin. I didn't get to the "b***h" part but I never would do that anyway since it's sexist as well as stupid.


Maybe transfer to a university in a more progressive area.


I don't have enough credits to warrant a transfer. I don't even have a degree. I've dropped out of college a few times mainly due to the social disappointments as well as feeling defeated by the fact I got failing grades in courses I thought were supposed to be my niche.



Marknis
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26 Mar 2017, 3:19 am

archvillain wrote:
First, if you want to get in shape, get in shape. Excuses are excuses. Go to the gym every day and workout until you can't move. Then repeat. Try crossfit; it will wreck you. Follow a diet based on nutrition. Exercise is so easy it's hard. If you aren't dripping gallons of sweat, work harder.

Or, focus on your brain. Intelligence is an aphrodisiac to women. But you have to play it cool. 'Cause there's so many models that want you, you know? Why give this girl any special attention? You'll find women want two things: a smart man who respects them, protects them, and is present, and security. Women are practical. And harsh. Learn to blow off a swing and a miss. Focus on the hits. Some girl comes at you like that girl did? Young girls usually shoot you down to gauge your reaction. You're man enough to take their flak. Let it bounce off you. Smile. Nod. Move on.

Do not give up. You are not alone. I stand with you. We all do.


She didn't really come at me. She just sat on a couch and just looked at me with a "Why the hell are you talking to me?" look.



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26 Mar 2017, 4:10 am

I can understand your frustration OP. When I see that 18 and 19 year old guys have girlfriends yet I'm still single I think there must be something wrong with me that they could get a girlfriend this fast and yet it takes me much longer.

It must be something social. It couldn't be money but I have a much better paying job than those 18 and 19 year guys would have.

I'm not sure if it's my looks. Yes I look older than a 19 year old, that could be a good thing or a bad thing depending on which girl you ask. Those 18 and 19 year old guys still look very immature and boyish to me. Many girls would find that unattractive.

Marknis wrote:
Just how do relationships happen outside of cold approaching? Cold approaching doesn't work for me at all but it feels like everyone around me is doing it and it works for them.
Aside from dating sites I don't know.

I know guys who met their partner by being friends with them for months or years before they commenced a relationship but I don't know the details of how they transitioned from friendship to relationship.
archvillain wrote:
First, if you want to get in shape, get in shape. Excuses are excuses. Go to the gym every day and workout until you can't move. Then repeat. Try crossfit; it will wreck you. Follow a diet based on nutrition. Exercise is so easy it's hard. If you aren't dripping gallons of sweat, work harder.
I've heard a lot of women say they're not attracted to muscular men. This approach won't work on some women.


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