Having quit approximately 2 years and 10 months ago, I have a strong desire to take (light) smoking back up. This isn't a new thought or sudden craving. I always liked smoking. I resented the conditions under which I quit because I didn't want to quit yet. Most people go back to smoking after quitting in a moment of weakness or thoughtlessness, but I've been considering it intermittently and rationally for months. I know that I shouldn't because it's unhealthy and it smells, but if one is only a very light smoker the first of these problems in minimal and the latter can be non-existent. I miss having pleasures in life--the only ones I have had for a very long time are talking to people online and doing tasks mindfully, and these are proving insufficient. So the only real reasons I can think not to smoke are that some people would look down on or find me unattractive for it, and those are pretty terrible reasons. And that it yellows the teeth, but if I'm honest with myself, I don't sincerely believe that I will ever have a real romantic relationship again, so it is hard to see yellow teeth as mattering. There is also the issue of quitting again later, but I am a willful individual and managed it last time with relative ease. I probably will not take it back up, but I certainly would like to.
Maybe this belongs in The Haven. Oh well, there it is.
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"A flower falls, even though we love it; and a weed grows, even though we do not love it."