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Exclavius
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31 Jul 2010, 3:12 am

Aspies have a hard time making idle or social chit chat...
When young, at least some of us TRY to observe and figure out how to do it though.

If you were to actually sit back and listen to people having idle chit chat, you would find that 90% of the questions that are asked of each other "How are you today" "what do you think of the weather" that kinda thing that NTs take for granted in social situations... They are questions where the answer is so frickin' obvious that it's not surprising that aspies, auties and even NT children would think.. "oh.. to be social we ask stupid questions and state stupid things" Your son is likely trying to be creative in his own way... weather doesn't interest him, the big game last night doesn't either, so he finds something like the colour of the car and asks a parallel question about it instead.

EDIT: and seeing as you've in another post mentioned your son has an interest in bathrooms that would explain the question "Is this a bathroom" He's trying to share his interest in bathrooms with you... Using it as an avenue to social discourse, the same way he perceives you having discussions about what he sees as trivial and obvious ideas with others.



StuartN
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31 Jul 2010, 2:33 pm

Surya wrote:
If the rules keep changing, does a person keep trying to learn the new rules, or do they just back away and let the others play?

Thats how I read it for me.. if you meant different, sorry.


Yes, that is what I see kids doing. "The rules" that change might be things like place or time of day, as well as the mood of the parent. Is this still a car when it is raining? On Sunday? When Mummy is all dressed up? When I am sad? And the focus of the experiment might be the parent, to see how the parent reacts. Learning how to be social is very complicated and something that some children learn without apparently trying, while others are very consciously trying to create sets of rules (e.g. pestering Mummy when she is dressed up AND it is raining AND Sunday makes her angry, so let's try the same thing again but without rain).

People with autism find it hard to generalize a solution from one situation to another, so they compensate by creating very many specific solutions to each specific situation, and they have to learn each one individually. Some people compensate so well that they have very little perceptible deficit is social function. (This is a problem for undiagnosed adults, who don't meet some diagnostic criteria because of compensation).



catlover02
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23 Oct 2010, 7:29 pm

I usually ask people questions that I already know the answers to. It's just a habit. I am very repetitive and obsessed with stuff and I'm almost 28. Dawn



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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23 Oct 2010, 7:40 pm

angelbear wrote:
I have read that this is a pretty common thing with AS, and my 5 yr old son has started doing it. He didn't ask any questions at all until he was over 4 yrs old, and then he started with the repetitive question, For example: Is this my bathroom? He will ask me 25 times until I ask him to stop. He will also ask questions that he knows the answer to, for example: Is this a car? Is this car black, when he knows it is silver.

Just curious if any of you do or did this, and if you know what triggers or causes this. Was it just a phase, or do you still do it? Thanks so much!

Yes, I am a questioner and it used to make people angry. I love questions! Sometimes I would ask questions I knew the answer to just to see if someone else's measured up to my own. I compare. I still like asking them. What causes it? Good question :)
My questions were not as redundant and irrelevant. I usually asked questions the people around me didn't know the answers to. I did it because I was bored and teachers often praised people for asking questions, so I had positive reinforcement. My neighbor's parents would get mean when I asked questions, though. They tried to scare me out of asking but nothing can keep me from it! Asking relevant and thoughtful questions can be a very good skill to have. So, get your child to start asking good questions by reinforcing the relevant ones and discouraging the redundant.



leeloodallas
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23 Oct 2010, 7:54 pm

At 22 I still do it, actually earlier today when I was out with my mom. Sometimes I forget that I asked a question then repeat it like 5 minutes later. Pisses people off I'm sure...

On message boards, text messages and essays, I seem to be addicted to question marks! All I do is ask questions. The way I see it, a logical and/or scientific mind is set to question everything, storing information so that it can find logical answers when needed...like a troubleshooter on the computer :)



SonicBB
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24 Oct 2010, 12:36 am

is there a difference when NT children do this vs. when autistic kids?

because it seem to me that NT children do this, and are actually interested in your answer.

whereas, my kid when he does this, he's always in a bored mindless "zoning out" frame of mind, like when we are sitting in the car waiting for something or something like that. he just zones out the window in a daydream, asks a question and then and echos every answer I give him with a "why" in front of it. it's clear that he's not processing anything I say to his whys at all, just echoing everything I say back to me.

he does do this sometimes in a more concious state of mind sometimes, and you can tell that he's actually processing the answers you give him. but usually when he does this, he's just trying to stimulate his mind and fill in "dead air" time.

and then, sometimes, he'll ask for the same thing over and over and over and over and over x 1million. this is worst when he can't have what he's asking for.



AnotherOne
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24 Oct 2010, 1:37 pm

I agree with Sonic. They are bored. In my son's case when he is bored he stims or does these "fake" conversations however lately we pressed him for more (more sports, learning and activities) and now he stims less and actually is less tired. Previously we didn't want to impose too much on him but it turns out that boredom is more draining than anything.



mrfoggy
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16 Feb 2016, 7:18 am

I do find my self asking the same question again and again, in a loop as a adult.
I dont find myself weird or to say I am not in a conscience that I am actually doing that , pardon me
On the other hand , the listener find it annoying or simply judge you as a moron

The problem is I cant read verbal cues or body language that its enough! or dont you get it?
Sometime words are heard but not understood if you know what I mean. Poor listening skills.

If you understand the words and in the right conscience, you will start to roll on to ask more questions that are related to the previous.

NT: Why is the sky blue? I like that blue, it reminds me of the sea. look at the cloud, why is it so fluffy.

Apie : Why is the sky blue? Are we there yet? mum your hair looks so bad today ! geez my shirt feels tight, mum look the sky is blue, why is it blue?


lol


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GarTog
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16 Feb 2016, 9:25 am

My lad does it (he's 21 now) and always has asked questions over and over. It is a kind of constant re-orientation of self - he is anxious about something and wants to ensure he is where he thinks he is in the world/time frame so he asks banal questions to facilitate this. It seems very important to him. We have a thing where I make a quizzical (sp?) face, raise an eyebrow and say "what do you think?" - he smiles and answers "I know".

He also repeats a word from a sentence in a silly changed fashion - "K can you get the toy off the floor please" - "The noy?" it is just part of his global learning disability kicking in as he has a very childish sense of humour.

I experience the re-orientation thing but asking questions doesn't help me although I crave re-assurance (which also doesn't actually help in the long-term).



MagicMeerkat
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28 Aug 2017, 8:13 am

My mother had a head injury as a child, as a result, she often forgot a lot. I HAD to repeat myself to be heard. My mom said she was going to do something or take me somewhere but if I didn't remind her, she didn't. My mom also repeated herself a lot so I thought repeating yourself was a natural thing.


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SaveFerris
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28 Aug 2017, 8:18 am

Marcia wrote:
It seems to go in cycles with my son, who is now 8. For a while he didn't ask any of these kinds of questions, but for the past couple of months Ive been asked, "Do you think Scotland will ever win the World Cup?" about a dozen times a day. :lol:



That's not a silly question , that's just optimism :lol:

Incidentally what is your answer to that question ?


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kraftiekortie
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28 Aug 2017, 8:24 am

I've been accused of this.

Ferris, am I a full-fledged Ferret? If not, how can attain this status?



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28 Aug 2017, 8:31 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I've been accused of this.

Ferris, am I a full-fledged Ferret? If not, how can attain this status?


I can't tell if that was sarcasm?

OMG! my avatar has disappeared 8O I must have deleted it by accident :roll:


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kraftiekortie
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28 Aug 2017, 8:47 am

I'm very rarely a sarcastic person.

Answer my question LOL...am I full-fledged, or not?

I meant: I've been accused of asking stupid questions many times.



SaveFerris
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28 Aug 2017, 8:53 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I'm very rarely a sarcastic person.

Answer my question LOL...am I full-fledged, or not?

I meant: I've been accused of asking stupid questions many times.


My bad

As far as I'm concerned you are a fully fledged ferret kraftie , as you have added to the ferret thread:D


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kraftiekortie
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28 Aug 2017, 8:56 am

Thank you, Sir.

And how are you today?