Things I have noticed about this forum

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Lost_dragon
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19 Dec 2017, 3:54 pm

1) There's a lot of predator/prey analogies, especially when talking about NT individuals (often represented as the predator) and autistic ones (the prey). Interestingly this suggests a feeling of being attacked/hunted, and gives an impression of defensiveness.

2) Speaking of defensiveness, some people here have a habit of cutting you off.

3) There's a real divide on who should be on this website, and who shouldn't. I've seen a few people here who seem to hold the view that only people with diagnosed autism should be on here, whereas others welcome NT members, as well as members who aren't autistic but aren't NT, and self-diagnosed people/suspected/ people who don't know.

4) Superiority. There seems to be this sub-group here that view NT's as less than themselves, and talk down about them. Others do this sarcastically, perhaps to mock people who do so seriously.

5) People will refer to you as autistic even if you are not, this default makes sense considering the nature of this forum, which flips expectations on their head (in real life, most people are going to assume that you are NT, but here it seems to work on a "autistic until contrary evidence" basis).

6) Idiolects. Users often seem to have their own language in regards to phrases, and writing styles. Some are confusing at first.

7) Culture. There are things that only seem to apply to this forum, inside jokes that I've yet to understand because I haven't been around for long enough. People often speak in vague themes, and use terminology that is only applicable here.


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TheAP
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19 Dec 2017, 4:29 pm

I agree, especially with 4. Some users seem to think that NTs are an evil hive mind. I don't agree with this mentality, either logically or morally. A lot of users seem to have a very cynical worldview in general, thinking that most people are superficial and only out for themselves, etc. Though I don't understand human nature very much, this mentality clashes with mine.

On the flip side, I've also noticed a lot of judgment toward users who are different or express themselves differently. It's like people want others to be different, but not too different. To me, it proves that autistics are not superior to NTs. On a related note, I've frequently seen users with judgmental attitudes toward people who have poor spelling/grammar or who don't know certain things, or users who look down on the "low-functioning" or intellectually disabled. This isn't the only site I see this on, but it seems to run contrary to neurodiversity's idea that people should be valued regardless of abilities.

And if you need any inside jokes or terms explained, I and others are willing to help. :)



naturalplastic
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19 Dec 2017, 4:51 pm

About five, you don't have much choice but to assume.

Back when they had the old layout you could click on someone's profile and read their diagnostic status (aspie officially dxd, or LFA officially dxd, aspie suspected but not diagnosed, Neurotypical, etc).

They don't do that in the profile page anymore. So you cant tell.

A few folks are high profile about not being on the autism spectrum and are here just because they parents of autistics, or because they just take an interest in the autism community. So there are a couple folks who I know are not ASD and are NT. But pretty much I hafta assume that everyone else is.

And you do get the opposite thing. Someone for some reason assumed that I was NOT ASD and gave me grief about how I was being an NT "talking down to US autistics" recently. Go figure.



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19 Dec 2017, 5:21 pm

I have no idea what points 6 and 7 refer to. I can only think of a very few users that had such a distinct style that they were hard to understand, and I can't remember seeing much in the terms of inside jokes, vague terms or terminology....

I would like to see examples of such, but maybe that would single out specific members (at least point 6).


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Boo Radley
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19 Dec 2017, 5:39 pm

I like these observations. I hope you have more.



soloha
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19 Dec 2017, 5:54 pm

You made these observations but did not specify their purpose. This leaves the door, perhaps intentionally so, wide open in terms of replies. Not understanding the motivation of your post I will just comment on each observation you have made, in turn.
1. I haven't really seen this, but that doesn't mean it isn't so.
2. How do you cut somebody off in a text medium?
3. I haven't observed this either. I don't read every post though. When I first found this place one of the things that struck me was how welcoming it was.
4. This I have seen. I totally disagree with it. Not more not less, just different.
5. -
6. Isn't this considered a feature of ASD?
7. You'll have that everywhere, I think.

I'm interested to see where this thread goes.



naturalplastic
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19 Dec 2017, 6:36 pm

1) Well...autistics ARE easy prey for NTs who wanna take advantage of them. But I haven't noticed a lot of predator prey metaphorage. But as with any in group there is a lot of "us against them" talk.

2) One reason I frequent a place like this is that you don't get interrupted constantly as you do IRL spoken conversation. I don't how one gets "cut off" in a text medium.

3) Have seen that complained about. That some of the officially diagnosed object to the only self diagnosed being here. Have seen the smoke of folks complaining about that attitude more than I have witnessed the actual fire of folks having that attitude. But I suppose that there must BE folks who discriminate against the self dxd or there wouldn't be so much complaint about it.

4)Yes. Though I haven't see so much of this lately, there are a small number of "autistic supremacists" you run into. There are individuals who are angry who just vent. Will bad mouth NTs momentarily. But there are folks who will calmly argue that somehow autistics are "the next stage in evolution", and such.

5) already commented.

6)I would think that any forum open to the whole world would have a variety of folks with a variety of education levels, and dialects within English, and foreigners using broken English. WP is no exception. Not really sure what you are talking about here.

7)Havent noticed much in the way of inside jokes, and I have been here a long time. Maybe among those threads in Random where folks interview each other, or praise each other, and whatnot. Those threads are dominated a certain in group sorta. There you probably see inside jokes. Never noticed much of a WP "culture". But then I am a long time fish here, and cant tell that I am wet with WP culture maybe.



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19 Dec 2017, 7:02 pm

Quote:
1) There's a lot of predator/prey analogies, especially when talking about NT individuals (often represented as the predator) and autistic ones (the prey). Interestingly this suggests a feeling of being attacked/hunted, and gives an impression of defensiveness
.

I agree with this. It's as though being neurotypical is a pass for being able to bully anyone who is mentally challenged, because it is the "laws of nature". Well, I don't buy that because of the social skills humans have, humans should know better than to bully others. To me, bullying is a selfish, rotten, nasty thing to do and there's no excuse for such behaviour. In the animal world, animals need prey to feed on, but humans have supermarkets for that. Does bullying land you a good job earning good money? Not really, because most of the time I'm told that most bullies are insecure themselves, and usually end up less successful in their career choices. If bullying was a qualification people needed for getting a good job then maybe they will use bullying as a "survival skill", but it isn't. And all society cares about is money. Well, in the UK money comes first before people's lives.


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19 Dec 2017, 7:28 pm

All well observed points, though I agree with soloha and naturalplastic about point 6. I suspect that my obsession with figures of speech comes out rather too much and might make my posts tricky for some readers (that, and {all the [brackets]}).

I won't go point by point through the rest, but 1 through 4 all touch on something that has been bugging me for a while now, so I will take this opportunity to get it off my chest.

[I deleted a section here because TheAP said it better than I was going to a few posts up.]

When people attack the stereotype of "NTs", that includes most of my family and many of my most loyal friends (and me for 45 years before my diagnosis!) Some of them need calling out and educating when they are misguided sometimes, and they have brains that nature designed to do things which I will probably never understand, but none of them are intentionally cruel people, and they have made my life immeasurably more bearable.

There are people in this world who treat us cruelly and whether we are autistic or not, or whether the perpetrator is autistic or not, they need calling out. WP is also a valuable sanctuary where we can let out our frustration and seek sympathy. But, when attacking faceless, generic "NTs", those "NTs" won't be reading what you write. However, WP members like me and many others, who have non-autistic loved ones who help them to cope with life every single day will be reading them.

Generalisations aren't always easy to avoid. But before posting a generic attack, please consider this. Who is it really hurting?

And before anyone else points it out. Yes, I have been too eager to "NT bash" myself in the past.


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19 Dec 2017, 8:09 pm

Aspie supremacy/elitism is an issue here.
The perception that this is a huge problem is a bigger problem then the actual problem here and elsewhere.

The self dx thing and the related idea that most members here are not autistic because they are faking it or have faked themselves to be trendy and excuse their bad behavior was a much bigger problem 2 and 3 years ago with 3 or 4 simultaneous angry threads going on. I am not discussing people disagreeing with self diagnosis purely on the merits. While this has calmed down a lot remnant hurt feeling by those of us who were here at the time remain.

Most of us have been bullied, discriminated against and generally maltreated by neurotypicals multiple times throughout our lives. This can lead to to many of us to go into negative thought loops and think of this as a defining feature of neurotypicality. Some react by believing we are next stage of evolution or we are not from earth and are on the wrong planet, or we should separate ourselves from the world by forming our own country. These thoughts are comforting and enticing.


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19 Dec 2017, 8:12 pm

A while ago I used the word "Neurotypicals" when talking to family, and the reaction that I got was "oh, another label".

I wasn't using the word in a derogatory way or anything, but it was interesting to note the reaction. We do need to be careful about how what we say could be interpreted.

I don't think there's anything wrong with using the word "Neurotypical" here, and I think it's perfectly reasonable to assume that people who post here are somewhere on the spectrum unless the explicitly say otherwise, but when I see derogatory threads about NTs posted here, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

In particular, I don't like the thread that showed up a few days ago with a subject line of "FKKED UP THINGS COMMONLY BELIEVED BY NTS". Imagine how we would feel if there were a post with subject line "FKKED UP THINGS COMMONLY BELIEVED BY Aspies" on a forum where most posters are NTs.

The fact that we are in the minority isn't a good excuse for bashing the majority; it gives a bad name to the ASD community.


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19 Dec 2017, 8:30 pm

Pretty much the only things that I've noticed a lot of since joining this form is all the threads about guys being overally concerned about what a woman thinks of them and the extreme amount of low self-esteem about not being perfect and like everyone else and generalization that everyone is like this or that (I started to ignore those posts personally...). I guess it's an autistic trait perhaps? But it just bothers me, I'm sorry...

There is also this gathering mentality that there is only ONE right way to live thus you MUST conform if you want your life to get any better.

Yet, on the other hand, the threads on here I find more tolerable then other things I've seen in other forums outside from WP.


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19 Dec 2017, 8:41 pm

You don't have to like the Screwed up things NTs believe....real simple. Don't click on it.

I stand by my feelings about the general NT population. Individual NTs are a different story as many are very sensitive towards others.

ASPartners lets people air their beefs....why can't we do the same without someone complaining about it?



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19 Dec 2017, 8:43 pm

I couldn't care less if someone is self dx or not. If you're here, chances are you need to be. Stick around.



Joe90
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19 Dec 2017, 9:06 pm

While I do get sick of seeing "am I on the spectrum?" threads, I still have nothing against possible Aspies that aren't diagnosed, or self-diagnosed Aspies, here on this forum. In fact it doesn't make any difference to me. The only thing here that bothers me are trolls.


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19 Dec 2017, 9:14 pm

I don't mind the threads about people asking if they're on the spectrum. I think the largest autism forum should be a place where people can ask those sorts of questions.