Almost 29 and I am still the same as I was last year

Page 5 of 10 [ 160 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 ... 10  Next

AngelRho
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jan 2008
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,366
Location: The Landmass between N.O. and Mobile

16 Apr 2017, 8:16 pm

Sabreclaw wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Marknis wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I feel physically ill when I am inside Wal-Mart. I don't understand the love for it either.

Besides worrying about the cut off age and shelf life, I worry that my thinning hair, body fat (I am not obese but I am overweight), and lack of past romantic experiences make me unattractive to girls.


When civilization ends and you're left without food or electricity, you're be glad you've got enough fat to live on for a while. Don't worry, you won't be overweight for long.


Huh? Are you making a slight at me or are you joking with me?


I was making fun of survivalists, not you.


Honestly I think a lot of survivalists just do it as a sort of hobby; not seriously expecting society to fall apart any time soon.

I think so, too. Doomsday preppers, too. What's disturbing is when survivalists get bright ideas and go all Rambo on law enforcement. Rarely happens, but still...

And I don't get extreme coupon people, either. I mean, you have a storage shed full of diapers? FOR WHAT? I dunno. To each his own.



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,970
Location: Adelaide, Australia

16 Apr 2017, 8:43 pm

AngelRho wrote:
Bake your own bread, learn to like rice.
So many carbs!! :O

If I did that I might die from a heart before the apocolypse even happens.

I'm not saying nothing could ever happen. I know the electricity grid is quite vulnrable and if someone took out the controllers it would take about six months to turn the power back on.

I just think some guys turn survivalism into an obsession, and I'd know because I've had a lot of obsessions. Honestly I think survivalists overkill it.

So long as I have the supply of bottled water I keep under my bed, and my solar powered powered battery charger (so I can still use my Game Boy) I'll be fine. I'm surrounded by people who are smaller and weaker than me and none of them are armed, so cannibalism is a viable way to keep fed without going over my carb allowance.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


AngelRho
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jan 2008
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,366
Location: The Landmass between N.O. and Mobile

16 Apr 2017, 10:18 pm

I still rely on commercial yeast, so for me that would be a problem. A little goes a long way, but still. I need to learn how to do sourdough, but that freakin takes DAYS to get started, then you're screwed come winter. Best bulk up during warm months.

Carbs are cheap and plentiful, hence the problem with fast weight gain. And I won't even joke about cannibalism, much less consider it an option.

On a semi-positive note yet morbid note, there will be significantly fewer people suffering from diabetes.

And then you have the crazy religious zealots like me who feed on faith. Tomorrow is day 39 of 40. Water ONLY. This morning I came in at 148 lbs. Lowest I've been since, like, jr. high. Wednesday my breakfast is a 4 oz. glass of orange juice. Lunch and dinner will be veggie broth with a couple spoonfuls of rice and a splash of milk, plus another 4 oz. orange juice at bedtime. It's unreal what we're capable of, but I like to think it's more than just me. I don't worry about starving or war or whatever apocalypse may or may not be coming, because I think we're meant to last. Fantasy and role-play are all good and fun, but together we're rock solid.



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,970
Location: Adelaide, Australia

17 Apr 2017, 2:23 am

AngelRho wrote:
And then you have the crazy religious zealots like me who feed on faith. Tomorrow is day 39 of 40. Water ONLY.

Impressive.

If I had your willpower I wouldn't weigh 220 lbs. If I had your willpower I could lose weight without using phentermine.

I've never gone more than 3 days without food and more than 12 hours without caffeine.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

19 Apr 2017, 1:22 pm

Besides not fitting in with in the culture around me, I have a hard time going to places where people are interacting and I always wonder why I am the odd man out. My therapist thinks I give off desperate and unhappy energy when this happens. It's a very hard pill for me to swallow.



Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

19 Apr 2017, 11:05 pm

Someone asked me why don't I start dating to deal with my loneliness. Err, don't you think I'd already be dating by now?



itsme82
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 15 Nov 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 183

20 Apr 2017, 3:54 am

Marknis wrote:
itsme82 wrote:

Precisely what I meant but I was in a rush so I didn't word it unambiguously.

What I meant was, "Maybe you really do need to move out of the Bible Belt to have better options somewhere else. Since the issue of incompatibility about religious views is such an important factor for you."

Make sense now?

Move out of the Bible Belt to a place with fewer religious people is what I meant.

Did any of my suggestions help? Were you able to think about any of them further instead of immediately running into a mental block about obstacles about them?


Unfortunately, I am still suffering from mental blocks. Failure defines the bulk of my past.


Failure doesn't have to define the future too.


Marknis wrote:
Feeling like there is a shelf life and cut off age to having a girlfriend, being unable to learn new abilities as well as improving ones I wish I were better at, and wondering if I've missed out on finding my place in life.


Man, you are just 28. There is no such cut off age for finding your place in life.

Even if you were a woman, you'd still have lots of time. But you are a man so definitely LOTS of time.


Quote:
A lot of these blocks come from redneck cultural messages that say stuff like "Dat ain't gonna git yew eniwere!" or "Yew city slickers dun no hard wurk!" (Ironically, rednecks love Wal-Mart despite how they are in cities) or "If you ain't white or Christian, you ain't a real Amurican!" and other such nonsense. To a redneck, if you aren't slowly destroying your body through "hard work" simply because society tells you to do so, you are wasting time. But why is it that people versed in arts, writing, science, and music (Not country music) are much more intelligent than rednecks? I feel like I am actually conversing intelligently talking to a punk rocker instead of a Toby Keith fan.


And you don't like the idea of moving to somewhere else from the bible belt? Why?


Quote:
Besides worrying about the cut off age and shelf life, I worry that my thinning hair, body fat (I am not obese but I am overweight), and lack of past romantic experiences make me unattractive to girls.


The longer you keep worrying the worse your lack of past romantic experiences will be. So act now.

You worry about things that you actually have the power to change. You can lose the weight, and I see someone already gave you some tips on the hair.



itsme82
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 15 Nov 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 183

20 Apr 2017, 3:56 am

Marknis wrote:
Besides not fitting in with in the culture around me, I have a hard time going to places where people are interacting and I always wonder why I am the odd man out. My therapist thinks I give off desperate and unhappy energy when this happens. It's a very hard pill for me to swallow.


Get your therapist to give you gradual exercises in socializing.

And the fundamental issue here is not the extra weight (though yes you should lose it, it would increase your chances a lot!) or the thinning hair but changing your emotional attitudes.

So. Work on that too.

It's up to you to decide if you want to keep sitting and complaining or if you truly want this thing (dating, a girlfriend and more). Really, that's the first step here.



Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

20 Apr 2017, 12:46 pm

I am short on time again. I'll address your other points later.

itsme82 wrote:

And you don't like the idea of moving to somewhere else from the bible belt? Why?


Believe me, I want to get out of this place. I just don't have the money, social connections, and college education for a better job to make the move. I also realized how the culture here truly is late in life because I used to think maybe I needed to explore more of the city where I live but I learned the hard way.



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,970
Location: Adelaide, Australia

20 Apr 2017, 5:13 pm

itsme82 wrote:
Man, you are just 28. There is no such cut off age for finding your place in life.
Are you sure? I thought all the really successful people had it together by the time they're 25.

Successful people have a girlfriend, their own place, a university degree and a full salary job before they turn 25.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

20 Apr 2017, 5:32 pm

Grandma Moses didn't "get it together" until she was 70.

Many people succeed after the age of 25. Some people were really decrepit before the age of 25, then emerged out of their decrepitude when they got older.



Benjamin the Donkey
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2017
Age: 60
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,313

20 Apr 2017, 7:41 pm

Things didn't start to come together for me till I was in my 30s. I still have issues, of course, but I now have a great wife and kids, I've been successful professionally, all that "normal" stuff I couldn't imagine having when I was 29.


_________________
"Donkeys live a long time. None of you has ever seen a dead donkey."


Marknis
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 24 Jan 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,960
Location: The Vile Belt

20 Apr 2017, 7:48 pm

itsme82 wrote:

Failure doesn't have to define the future too.



Even though I missed out on the psychosocial moratorium and the expected social milestones, is it still possible to catch up?

Quote:

Man, you are just 28. There is no such cut off age for finding your place in life.

Even if you were a woman, you'd still have lots of time. But you are a man so definitely LOTS of time.



How are men different than women in this regard?

Quote:

The longer you keep worrying the worse your lack of past romantic experiences will be. So act now.

You worry about things that you actually have the power to change. You can lose the weight, and I see someone already gave you some tips on the hair.


I have been giving it thought to go back to the gym. I just wish I knew what to do so I am not wasting time and not actually achieving anything. I lost a good chunk of years trying to lose weight and build muscle but my body didn't respond to my efforts since I apparently wasn't doing the exercises right.



itsme82
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 15 Nov 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 183

22 Apr 2017, 11:30 am

Marknis wrote:
itsme82 wrote:

And you don't like the idea of moving to somewhere else from the bible belt? Why?


Believe me, I want to get out of this place. I just don't have the money, social connections, and college education for a better job to make the move. I also realized how the culture here truly is late in life because I used to think maybe I needed to explore more of the city where I live but I learned the hard way.


Well, figure out a plan for moving. It's not like moving to another country, you don't even need to have a visa for it. When you get that plan together to execute it, you'll have something to focus on, too. Will help with depression and whatnot. :)


Marknis wrote:
itsme82 wrote:
Failure doesn't have to define the future too.


Even though I missed out on the psychosocial moratorium and the expected social milestones, is it still possible to catch up?


Possible yes, this isn't like an entirely hard-coded timeline, two other recent posts here indicate that too. (The posts of kraftiekortie's and Benjamin the Donkey's.)

Quote:
Quote:
Man, you are just 28. There is no such cut off age for finding your place in life. Even if you were a woman, you'd still have lots of time. But you are a man so definitely LOTS of time.


How are men different than women in this regard?


Later deadline for having kids, later deadline for aging incl. the looks.


Quote:
Quote:
The longer you keep worrying the worse your lack of past romantic experiences will be. So act now.

You worry about things that you actually have the power to change. You can lose the weight, and I see someone already gave you some tips on the hair.


I have been giving it thought to go back to the gym. I just wish I knew what to do so I am not wasting time and not actually achieving anything. I lost a good chunk of years trying to lose weight and build muscle but my body didn't respond to my efforts since I apparently wasn't doing the exercises right.


I don't know how you were doing the exercises but look up good resources for this, do your research. And the diet will matter too! That's very important too. Try starting with it by asking for help on some forum where they specialize in these topics.


And, all this, moving, building up your body, your social skills etc. will take some time. Up to a couple years. That's fine.



itsme82
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 15 Nov 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 183

22 Apr 2017, 11:32 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
itsme82 wrote:
Man, you are just 28. There is no such cut off age for finding your place in life.
Are you sure? I thought all the really successful people had it together by the time they're 25.

Successful people have a girlfriend, their own place, a university degree and a full salary job before they turn 25.


You are being sarcastic yes?

PS: And you're only listing "a girlfriend", and "full salary job"... instead of "movie star girlfriend" and "CEO"? :)



lennyk
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 12 Aug 2009
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 243

22 Apr 2017, 8:11 pm

46yrs and well nothing happening for me socially
Sucks bad esp when I meet ppl who I have a crush on but nothing can be possible.