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Almost 29 and I am still the same as I was last year

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itsme82
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26 Apr 2017, 11:40 am

Marknis wrote:
itsme82 wrote:
I just can't understand this fixation on age. :)


In my experience, it's because life moves painfully slow for me and it feels like everyone else's life is going much faster. I don't know if it's true or if the depression I suffer from distorts how I see things. I sometimes get fears I won't have my next girlfriend until I am in my 50's and I really don't want to live that long if I have to continue being lonely and dateless until then.


I completely understand that then, it's you not seeing clearly on what's creating the issues right now, what made it not work so far. Yes the depression would also distort this. I think you got some quite good tips in this thread from several people so you would have a direction now with checking those out, doing thorough research, then do good plans and do the plans and learn more in the process :). Might take a bit more time but, you will figure this out!



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26 Apr 2017, 11:46 am

Marknis wrote:
If nothing gets better before I turn 30, I will have to exit this life.


Nah, don't do that. Just keep trying.

I haven't read the entire thread, but have you tried dating sites? They're pretty groovy for breaking the initial ice.


Also, the link you posted is horses**t. They literally create content like that to make everybody feel sad about their lives, because it's what lots of people like to do in their free time. Nobody has it all figured out.

Also, loads of people who challenge authority also get shot in the face, but there's no article about that.


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Marknis
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26 Apr 2017, 1:20 pm

itsme82 wrote:
Marknis wrote:
itsme82 wrote:
I just can't understand this fixation on age. :)


In my experience, it's because life moves painfully slow for me and it feels like everyone else's life is going much faster. I don't know if it's true or if the depression I suffer from distorts how I see things. I sometimes get fears I won't have my next girlfriend until I am in my 50's and I really don't want to live that long if I have to continue being lonely and dateless until then.


I completely understand that then, it's you not seeing clearly on what's creating the issues right now, what made it not work so far. Yes the depression would also distort this. I think you got some quite good tips in this thread from several people so you would have a direction now with checking those out, doing thorough research, then do good plans and do the plans and learn more in the process :). Might take a bit more time but, you will figure this out!


Will potential girlfriends wait for me to get myself in shape?

@ Deathbox: Dating sites have been dead ends for me.



AngelRho
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26 Apr 2017, 3:42 pm

Marknis wrote:
itsme82 wrote:
Marknis wrote:
itsme82 wrote:
I just can't understand this fixation on age. :)


In my experience, it's because life moves painfully slow for me and it feels like everyone else's life is going much faster. I don't know if it's true or if the depression I suffer from distorts how I see things. I sometimes get fears I won't have my next girlfriend until I am in my 50's and I really don't want to live that long if I have to continue being lonely and dateless until then.


I completely understand that then, it's you not seeing clearly on what's creating the issues right now, what made it not work so far. Yes the depression would also distort this. I think you got some quite good tips in this thread from several people so you would have a direction now with checking those out, doing thorough research, then do good plans and do the plans and learn more in the process :). Might take a bit more time but, you will figure this out!


Will potential girlfriends wait for me to get myself in shape?

@ Deathbox: Dating sites have been dead ends for me.

Appearance isn't often so much the issue. It's more like are you taking the initiative and putting forth the effort? If they see someone who is at least trying, it's more attractive than someone who prefers being a slug.



itsme82
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26 Apr 2017, 4:29 pm

Marknis wrote:
Will potential girlfriends wait for me to get myself in shape?


Getting in shape decently well shouldn't take more than 1 year of regular and intense enough training or so. (Initially not so intense.) With a good diet of course.



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26 Apr 2017, 6:27 pm

AngelRho wrote:
Appearance isn't often so much the issue. It's more like are you taking the initiative and putting forth the effort? If they see someone who is at least trying, it's more attractive than someone who prefers being a slug.


Well, why didn't speed dating work out for me, then?

itsme82 wrote:
Getting in shape decently well shouldn't take more than 1 year of regular and intense enough training or so. (Initially not so intense.) With a good diet of course.


But can I still socialize during all that?



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26 Apr 2017, 6:49 pm

Marknis wrote:
AngelRho wrote:
Appearance isn't often so much the issue. It's more like are you taking the initiative and putting forth the effort? If they see someone who is at least trying, it's more attractive than someone who prefers being a slug.


Well, why didn't speed dating work out for me, then?

itsme82 wrote:
Getting in shape decently well shouldn't take more than 1 year of regular and intense enough training or so. (Initially not so intense.) With a good diet of course.


But can I still socialize during all that?

Perhaps not everyone is cut out for speed dating. I've never done it, so for all I know it might not work for me, either.



itsme82
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27 Apr 2017, 12:20 pm

Marknis wrote:
itsme82 wrote:
Getting in shape decently well shouldn't take more than 1 year of regular and intense enough training or so. (Initially not so intense.) With a good diet of course.


But can I still socialize during all that?


Of course!



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27 Apr 2017, 12:21 pm

AngelRho wrote:
Marknis wrote:
AngelRho wrote:
Appearance isn't often so much the issue. It's more like are you taking the initiative and putting forth the effort? If they see someone who is at least trying, it's more attractive than someone who prefers being a slug.


Well, why didn't speed dating work out for me, then?

itsme82 wrote:
Getting in shape decently well shouldn't take more than 1 year of regular and intense enough training or so. (Initially not so intense.) With a good diet of course.


But can I still socialize during all that?

Perhaps not everyone is cut out for speed dating. I've never done it, so for all I know it might not work for me, either.


Online dating didn't work for me either. I seem to be the odd man out in the digital age.

I sometimes get told girls are making the first move more but that is not happening for me at all. Gender roles refuse to evolve in the culture I am stuck in.



Marknis
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27 Apr 2017, 12:24 pm

itsme82 wrote:
Marknis wrote:
itsme82 wrote:
Getting in shape decently well shouldn't take more than 1 year of regular and intense enough training or so. (Initially not so intense.) With a good diet of course.


But can I still socialize during all that?


Of course!


I just wonder what I need to do differently in terms of socialization.



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27 Apr 2017, 5:36 pm

Online dating can work. Tomorrow I'm going to the symphony with a girl I met on a dating site.

Keep trying. Many girls rejected me on dating sites before I found girls who want to go out with me.


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27 Apr 2017, 9:06 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Online dating can work. Tomorrow I'm going to the symphony with a girl I met on a dating site.

Keep trying. Many girls rejected me on dating sites before I found girls who want to go out with me.


I am not putting a lot of hope into it but I am giving Bumble a try since my therapist told me her son met his current partner with it. If it doesn't go anywhere, I will never use a dating app again.



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27 Apr 2017, 9:08 pm

Marknis wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Online dating can work. Tomorrow I'm going to the symphony with a girl I met on a dating site.

Keep trying. Many girls rejected me on dating sites before I found girls who want to go out with me.


I am not putting a lot of hope into it but I am giving Bumble a try since my therapist told me her son met his current partner with it. If it doesn't go anywhere, I will never use a dating app again.


For my area there's almost no one on bumble



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27 Apr 2017, 9:16 pm

sly279 wrote:
Marknis wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Online dating can work. Tomorrow I'm going to the symphony with a girl I met on a dating site.

Keep trying. Many girls rejected me on dating sites before I found girls who want to go out with me.


I am not putting a lot of hope into it but I am giving Bumble a try since my therapist told me her son met his current partner with it. If it doesn't go anywhere, I will never use a dating app again.


For my area there's almost no one on bumble


Are you from the Bible Belt as well?



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27 Apr 2017, 10:18 pm

Marknis wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Marknis wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Online dating can work. Tomorrow I'm going to the symphony with a girl I met on a dating site.

Keep trying. Many girls rejected me on dating sites before I found girls who want to go out with me.


I am not putting a lot of hope into it but I am giving Bumble a try since my therapist told me her son met his current partner with it. If it doesn't go anywhere, I will never use a dating app again.


For my area there's almost no one on bumble


Are you from the Bible Belt as well?


I'm from the super attractive thin young women liberal belt aka the west coast



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30 Apr 2017, 12:23 am

sly279 wrote:
Marknis wrote:
sly279 wrote:
Marknis wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Online dating can work. Tomorrow I'm going to the symphony with a girl I met on a dating site.

Keep trying. Many girls rejected me on dating sites before I found girls who want to go out with me.


I am not putting a lot of hope into it but I am giving Bumble a try since my therapist told me her son met his current partner with it. If it doesn't go anywhere, I will never use a dating app again.


For my area there's almost no one on bumble


Are you from the Bible Belt as well?


I'm from the super attractive thin young women liberal belt aka the west coast


Aren't there a lot of obese young liberal women on the west coast who will get mad at you if you don't change what you're attracted to conform to their obesity acceptance?

If you to stay were you are you'll be surrounded by right wing extremist fundamentalist morons but if you move to the west coast you'll be surrounded by left wing extremist SJW morons. Damned if you, damned if you don't.


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