Why Is Being a Materialistic Woman So Bad?

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I have finally accepted that I am materialistic and physical appearance obsessed. Society views it as a bad thing. The majority of who I am is how I dress and my fashion collection which is so big that I can't fit it all in my room so I'm going to save up clothing storage furniture from IKEA.

I just don't get it! Why is being materialistic frowned upon? Another woman accused me of being attached to my clothes and it felt like a personal attack.

Can anyone relate to this?

Me.

You're still young, so you may grow out of it. If stuff makes you happy, it's not a problem. If materials get in the way of other stuff, then you need to address it.

I'm not sure that you are materialistic and obsessed with looks. It sounds to me like you simply enjoy fashion. Nothing wrong with that, as long as you're not living beyond your means or turning your house into a hoard. Lots of people collect things - comic books, figurines, etc. You collect clothes.

Embrace it. Clothes are f*cking awesome.

I don't see a problem--I use all four of my closets, a dresser, and an armoire to store my collection.
I suppose if it started getting out of hand I'd turn a bedroom into a walk in closet

You can enjoy your clothes. I enjoy people who enjoy what they're doing. Just don't look down on me because I prefer flannel and t-shirts. Everybody expresses themselves in their own way. You do with clothes. I do with embroidery and knitting and gardening. I promise to not think you are materialistic for enjoying clothing if you promise to not think I'm lame for textile arts and sweeping my moss. And if you wanted to discuss an awesome shirt with embroidered moss on it, we could totally get on. As long as you're okay with other people NOT caring about fashion, it's all good.

Sometimes the poor reaction is the fashionable person expecting other people to adhere to their sense. I'm fine with your obsessions. I just can't stand uncomfortable shoes and don't see how anything is to be gained by being in pain. But you probably look great in them and are happy enough because you look great that the pain is okay. Me, not so much.

Also don't buy cheap stuff. Learn yourself some fabric science. Real cashmere is AMAZING. Just make sure it's not pure cashmere, cuz then it'll shrink. Sorry, I knit.

I think it's fine to enjoy having things. But some people negatively judge others for not having so many things, or not being so perfect, and treat them as less than human because of it. People on Asperger's and Autism websites who are often not so good at dressing sharp, blending in, and adhering to social norms are especially familiar with this.

^^^ QFT.

If stuff makes you happy then do it, but experiences and memories are just as precious so maybe find some more space for those because if you don't what do you have to look back on when you are old? And what stories will you have? Stories about stuff? It's not as precious as memories about things you did because stuff can just be replaced where memories and such can't. A photograph can tell a lot about a moment, much more than furniture can.

That isn't an attack btw, I'm just being brutally honest.

Being materialistic is frowned upon because materialistic people care a lot about things that are considered not very important, which makes them seem shallow, stupid, and/or boring. They care (or they are assumed to care) about physical items more than they care about things that are considered important, like politics, education, and self-improvement.

And some of us think that it is a waste of money, a waste of natural resources such as cotton (unless you bought most or all of the clothes secondhand), and destructive to the Earth (once the clothes eventually get thrown away and end up in a landfill) for one person to have as much clothing as you do. But that's just another way of saying that materialistic people don't care about important things—the environment, the rapacious system of capitalism they are supporting, and all the worthy causes they could have used that money for.

In a sense we're all materialistic. You are with clothes the way I am with books. As long as the stuff you like isn't getting in the way of meaningful relationships and experiences, then there's nothing wrong with it in my opinion.

About the charity thing mentioned above, a lot of collectors donate old things to charity. I'm packing up some old books I don't read to donate to the local libraries. A lot of fashion-oriented people in my community donate out of style clothing to thrift stores and clothing drives.

@Lunella I have really good memories that aren't shopping. There is nothing brutal about what you said. I just make sure I look cute and pretty while I do cool things.

@starkid I care so much about education. I'm starting college in the fall to be come a paraproffesional at a preschool one day. Part of that job is dressing nice so I'll still make sure that I'm trendy.

@rats_and_cats I like your username. I love rats and cats! They are super cute! I don't donate my clothes. I love my clothes equally. Picking a favorite clothing item is like picking which child I like better (even though I can't have children due to medical reasons nor do I want children) and I need my clothes. When I put a cute outfit together I feel like I've accomplished something.

There is nothing inherently wrong with it. However the joy of chasing after material goods is often short lived and unsustainable. It's important to invest in longer term things such as a career, a hobby, your personal relationships, your community, your values, your education, etc. The purpose that one derives from such investments can allow one to feel a sense of accomplishment and contentment that is more sustainable and lasting.

That being said, investing in IKEA furniture and fashion doesn't have to be a bad thing. Materialism is the cornerstone of our capitalistic society and it's okay to give into our indulgences from time to time. Just don't define your whole self based on the things you own because you are more than that.

i've actually thought on this a lot in my life. i am probably somewhat materialistic to some people's view. however my perception of it is that my things are an extension of myself and they express who i am in ways that "people" or just not having that stuff cannot. i feel comfortable and at ease in a place of my making; surrounded by happy things, yes THINGS!

if having material items makes you feel like you and you treasure them then that is probably different than just buying random crap that fills a void. but either way i don't see why it would be anyone's business to point out something about your own choices like that. screw em!

^^^^YAY another Washingtonian welcome to our club

hehe thanks. wewt wewt!