Empathy

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Asperger's is the only possible thing I can think that could be "wrong" with me most of the time, but I think I'm a very empathetic person. I feel like it's almost a moral obligation to try and see the world from the other person's eyes. I do this often and I sympathize deeply about the misfortunes of those around me. I don't know how to show people that I care aside from providing them with things they want or doing things for them. But to display empathy to the people I care about deeply is so emotional for me that I just can't. I mean I can cry and tell them how sorry I feel for them, but that only makes things worse for them.. so I am really lacking in understanding how to connect with people, I can't just be fake and happy to change someone elses mood because being the opposite of genuine is like seriously nauseating to me. I feel like I'm paralyzed and traumatized almost by my empathy. Other than that I fit what I understand to be Asperger's. I have suspicion Im possibly borderline, skitzotypal or skitzoid instead of Asperger's and just don't fundamentally understand myself enough possibly.. Anyways, what are the opinions of those who have been diagnosed on the autistic spectrum in regards to empathy?

With Asperger's, there are all sorts of variations regarding feeling and expressing empathy. Some have trouble feeling it, while others feel it more intensely than normal. Some feel it just fine, but have trouble expressing it. I think most aspies have some sort of trouble expressing empathy, but doubtless there are some who can express it just fine.

Common misunderstanding, it really is maddening sometimes how easily people are misled by the term "Lack of Empathy." First, you have to undertand that EMPATHY and SYMPATHY are not aspects of the same thing, they are two completely different things.

Sympathy is the ability to identify with another person's emotional state, and to resonate in kind.

Empathy, at least in the clinical sense, which is how it's presented in the diagnostic manual, means the ability to intuit the emotional states of others and know automatically how to respond.




Yes, exactly like that. That is a common problem of people with autism. Not that we don't feel for others, but that we don't know what to do with those feelings when we have them.

It's one thing to know that someone close to you is in pain, it's another thing entirely to know whether you should give them a hug, offer them a hot beverage, or just sit quietly and let them talk it out. if you find yourself just standing around feeling awkward and not knowing what to do until it's too late to do anything useful - you may be suffering from a lack of empathy.

There are two kinds of empathy: Affective empathy and Cognative empathy.

Affective empathy is the ability to look at someone and recognise the emotional state of that person. Those on the spectrum very often actually have very good Affective empathy. We can look at someone, see that that person is sad, and even feel very sorry for that person.

Cognitive empathy is the ability to see things from someone else's perspective. It is this that many people on the spectrum lack. Not being able to see things from someone else's perspective often means that, although we recognise someone's emotional state through affective empathy, we don't know how to respond to it. This seems to me to be quite a bit like what you're describing in your OP.

A test of purely Cognative empathy that has nothing to do with Affective empathy is the Sally Anne test, which can be found here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjkTQtggLH4.

Personally, I find the Sally Anne test quite easy to pass. I think most people on the spectrum except for very young children can probably pass this test simply by using straight logic, but it does illustrate the difference between Affective empathy and Cognitive empathy pretty well.