Why does nobody click with me
The issue is not even that I don't click with anyone. I try to make friends everywhere, talk to everyone, but everyone just tells me we do not click or that they do not vibe with me. And by everyone I mean literally EVERYONE. I had the same thing in elementary school, middle school, high school and even now in college. I talked to thousands of different people in my life and EVERYBODY either said we do not click or did not give any effort back (as in, did not start conversations with me, did not consider me their friend). What this resulted in is having basically zero friends all my life.
It truly sucks because I wish I could have fun in life with friends. It is so unfair that others have their amazing friend groups they can travel or party with meanwhile for me it is like I am destined to be alone forever. I did have small hope that it might be bc of my social skills but I found a super discouraging thread on another forums where people said "I have bad social skills but still lots of friends because I am easy to vibe with" or "you can have nice conversations but there will never be a friendship if you don't vibe" and it hurt me on the inside because it basically confirms my thoughts about me being destined to be with nobody.
And nope, there are no clubs or meetups in my town. I checked
Yeah but nobody will vibe with me anyways. Even when I meet people with the same interests as me, they always end up being just acquaintances
Not for nothing.... but are those other people having that much fun? I get the fear of missing out, really, one regret I have is trying to get what your talking about.... it really messed up how I presented myself to others for a time, but when I got to hang out with these people, I was still not happy (if you want you can IM me for details).
I think you should take a few steps back and focus on what interests you and work forward from there, as Daniel says.
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It truly sucks because I wish I could have fun in life with friends. It is so unfair that others have their amazing friend groups they can travel or party with meanwhile for me it is like I am destined to be alone forever. I did have small hope that it might be bc of my social skills but I found a super discouraging thread on another forums where people said "I have bad social skills but still lots of friends because I am easy to vibe with" or "you can have nice conversations but there will never be a friendship if you don't vibe" and it hurt me on the inside because it basically confirms my thoughts about me being destined to be with nobody.
And nope, there are no clubs or meetups in my town. I checked
I am in the exact same boat as you. I have even considered literally relocating across the country to find people with the same interests.
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goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
It's much easier said than done but if there aren't any clubs, you can always start one, whether it's interest-related or autism-related.
I was considering starting a club for ND students at my college until someone else did instead. The point: there are other people out there in the same situation.
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Diagnosed ASD/ADHD age 5. Finally understood that age 17.
Have very strong opinions so sorry if I offend anyone--I still respect your opinion.
Feel free to PM me--I like to talk about most things other than sports.
How about cultivating online friends?
There are lots of special interest groups on the Internet.
Some of them are well moderated.
Stay out of fights. Just because someone is wrong doesn't mean you have to correct them.
Be helpful and kind.
I mentioned that I was going to try growing fescue grass in the next couple months.
Someone commented that his attempts to grow grass in the spring always died.
I agreed that his advice was good for most people, but my yard is unusually wet and doesn't get as hot as those in the South or Midwest. It is likely that my fescue will have time to grow deep roots in New England before it gets too hot and dry. I doesn't get hot and dry enough to kill the crabgrass in my lawn!
He agreed with me that I could grow grass from seed in the spring.
passionatebach
Velociraptor
Joined: 8 Nov 2009
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 447
Location: Cedar Rapids, Iowa
I am dealing with this same issue since the pandemic. I am not sure what it is, but I feel disconnected from people including friends. Something has changed and I cannot put my finger on it.
I met a friend within the last couple of years that I "clicked" with on the first meeting. Sadly, I haven't been able to find that level of connection with him since. I think a lot of it is his personality and his issues like autism, bipolar, anxiety and the fact that he has a tendency to frequently change jobs, churches, leave relationships and delete/create his social medias. I feel like the friendship is faltering and its been impossible to meet someone to fill this void.
Another thing to keep in mind is that is feels like most everyone has some type of an issue with depression or anxiety right now, especially those in neurodivergent communities.
I get this so much op. I have "clicked" with like, 4 people over the course of my life. Eventually we all moved on for one reason or another. I chase that high so much. I don't know about you op, but what I have done to try and fit in better was focusing on my looks (building muscle ect.) and when I interact with people I try to think about emotions first. Like, "how will this response make them feel". I figure you want to have people associate good feelings with your prescence. If it's too much work for me with a person, I just kinda move on. Idk about the rest of you, but this leads to alot of burnout since i'm always putting a ton of work into holding up conversations and such, which can lead to resenting people for not reciprocating.